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helpless
17 Mari wrote this post on thursday but wordpress was having site issues.
today was a day that we will remember forever. the first day that we gave xander regular formula…and the last.
i have made the decision that it is time to add formula feedings in to supplement breastfeeding. we have been talking about it for a while, but today was the day. i went over what to do with sam so that he was ready to go when xander was hungry. i also gave him warning that due to xander having ezcema, he was more susputible to a cow milk allergy, so when he gave him the bottle to just be looking for any kind of allergic reaction.
well…
it happened. at about 1:15 pm this afternoon, i get a call on my cell phone while working. “Babe, Xander is breaking out around his mouth and screaming.” I was already packing up my stuff and closing out my computer.
“I’m on the way.”
we got him to the pediatrician and he seemed to be fine. but we decided to have him checked anyway and talk with the doctor.
we waited for 30 minutes and then sam noticed white whelps appearing around his neck. then i saw the same whelps on the back of his head, his back, and now popping up on his legs. i started freaking out….to say the least.
i walked up to the window and interrupted a conversation to let the front desk know that my son was in for an allergic reaction and it seemed to be getting worse….fast. they put us back and we undressed him only to find that the hives were continuning to spread rapidly and xander was now scratching and crying. and so was I.
he didnt have any respiratory problems, just an awful case of hives. by the time the doctor came in about 15 minutes later, xander was stripped down to his diaper, sleeping on sam’s chest, and the hives were gone but replaced by a red splotchy rash. it looked no where as bad as it did 15 minutes earlier.
i apologized profusely on my way out of the office. thanking the nurse and staff for their help and apologizing for freaking out but honestly, i freaked out because i felt..you guessed it…helpless.
Helpless, because i couldnt make it stop.
Helpless, because it was my idea to start supplementing and now i couldnt make my son feel better.
Helpless, because i had to freak out in order for some one to take me seriously.
Helpless.
I know that this will not be the last time i feel helpless. i know that there will be other times where all i can do is hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay.
but i was able to do one thing.
pray.
“Lord, please.”
that was all i could get out.
there are so many times, when as a Christian, we have those moments when we are helpless. without our faith and hope in Christ, we dont have a chance. i thank God that it wasnt worse then it was. i thank God that we are at home, listening to the passing rainstorm and xander is sleeping peacefully in his crib. i thank God that even though we oftentimes find ourselves helpless, His grace reminds us that He’s got our backs, no matter what.
getting marked
14 Marso i have always been a lover of tattoos. during christmas 2007, i went and got my first one. and i have to say, it was like everyone says…you always want another. but ive been hesistant, secretly planning what my “big” piece will be one day. where i’ll have it done and who will do it.
we have a friend that is celebrating his 30th birthday at the end of the month. his wife is getting a group of us together and we are going to get tattoos to celebrate this milestone birthday. ive been thinking that ill do something smaller since a bigger piece takes lots of sitting time. the other night, sam mentioned that he had tweeted the wife to say “hey, count us in”.
US?!?! yes, sam has always said that he doesnt think he would ever get one. he wasnt sure that he had something that he wanted to wear for the rest of his life. so it definitely shocked me that he is up for getting one. so we’ve been talking about possibly doing a matching tattoo with meaning of our relationship, so of course i jumped on pinterest and searched for some ideas. obviously, we want ours to be original but it was cool to see what other people have done.
Image Source: http://imgfave.com/collection/9978
this is one of my favorites. it says what we are about with each other. loving each other no matter what.
Image Source: http://imgfave.com/collection/9978
this is so beautiful in that it says that we submit to each other.
Image Source:http://7.asset.soup.io/asset/1919/2711_9861.jpeg
sam liked this one. kind of like we are anchored to each other.
i am so excited about this, the idea of us doing this together. in fact, i was reading one of my blogs and came across this post from bohobabybump, which is such a cute and unique blog so you should check it out. she tells the story behind their matching ink and it’s really inspiring.
i can’t wait to go and show you all what we ended up with!
life for us lately…
13 Marlife for us lately has been something of a crazy type. it could be the notion that it is just that time of year…but it also could be the fact that we have a six and a half month old living in our beautiful, little apartment.
that’s right….Bug is 6 1/2 months old. absolutely crazy, i know. but he brings us more and more joy every day.
i know that i have said this many times here, but every day that passes seems to be more sleep deprived coffee-filled normal than the one before. we love being parents and we love watching Bug do new things everyday. (His new trick is rolling over.) he’s also eating baby food now, which means less nursing. to be honest, i didn’t think it would last this long and love it as much as i do. i may have shed a tear when i realized that he sometimes prefers food over nursing….but he’s growing up.
the other day we received a lease renewal from our apartment complex. it’s hard to believe that its been a year since we have been in this new place. even though some people think it’s probably too small, we love it here. we love that we dont have that much stuff, that we are close to friends, and the grocery store (all really important and high on our list of must-haves). we’ve committed to another 18 months here. it’s weird to think about and i wonder what will be
going on in november 2013, but i just have to live in this moment and everything else will fall into place.
i’ve been knitting…a lot. sam’s been weight-lifting…a lot. we are just finding what we enjoy and making sure that we take time to do so.
i know that this post is a little random and there really isn’t much of a theme. i guess this is just to say that we are alive and doing well. i promise there will be more to come from us in the future.
Book Review: Real Marriage
28 FebReal Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship, and Life Together, is joint effort by Mark and Grace Driscoll. While I respect much of what this couple has to say on the subject of marriage and relationships, I found that this book was extremely difficult for me to get in to. I have honestly had a copy of the book on my e-reader for about 3 or 4 months. I would pick it up, get about 5 or 10 pages and just have to put it back down. I only made it to about the fourth chapter before I realized that I was not really in to this book right now. The topics discussed are do some at a great-deal of length making it hard for me to stay interested.
However, the Driscolls do take their own experiences, along with Scripture and begin to tackle some of the issues within the lives of Christian married couples. They start with the emotional and relational issues inside of a marriage and then eventually tackle the physical relationship.
I believe that this may be a book that I will try to pick back up in a few months. However, I just could not get into the book. For me, it was not a page-turner, nor a book that I would read from cover to cover in one sitting.
*A copy of the e-book was provided by for free Booksneeze.com through the book bloggers program. There was no reimbursement for this review.
Tags: books, booksneeze, marriage, relationships, review
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and a little catching up
3 JanAs I am writing this, Xander is currently fussing in his crib. Yes, we have reached 4 months and its time to learn to sleep in his crib. Xander spent the first months of his life in a cradle next to our bed. When he would be ready to eat, I would sleepily wake sam up to change him and then i would nurse him and put him back in his cradle to sleep until his next feeding. some times we would all fall back to sleep in our bed…yup. i know. not the best thing to do. well, now we are working on it. it will be fine. in a week or so, xander will be sleeping in his crib.
anyway. wow. it has been quite some time since i wrote here. no apologies though. i do have some catching up to do.
since sam works for a church, the holidays always spell busy for us. we are putting together youth events and fundraisers, as well as starting to look at the calendar for the next year. but in the midst of all of that, we were able to celebrate xander’s first christmas.
we spent the holidays in florida visiting lots and lots of family. many of the people that we visited had never met xander so it was good for them to see him. however, we did learn a BIG lesson. we cannot do that much traveling with a little one. we are currently discussing how long and when the next trip south will be 
after being gone for almost two weeks, we came back early in the week after christmas. we were able to get some much needed rest as well as get xander back on a schedule. obviously, we are still working on the schedule part.
new years was pretty uneventful. i did fix a pretty good size dinner for sam, his mom, and my parents. we enjoyed some good family time and were in bed by 1030pm. yes, we did not see the ball drop…oh well.
all in all, the holidays were wonderful. tiring but wonderful. sam’s mom is flying back to africa this afternoon so keep her in your prayers. for those of you who don’t know, she is a missionary to the little country, lesthoto. she has been in the states since the middle of august and has spent time here with us as well as home in pensacola. pray that her trip is safe and that God will open doors as she steps back into the lives of those she reaches and those she will meet. if you are interested in supporting laura, you can contact me and ill forward you to her.
as we start off this new year, the holmes family wishes you and yours peace, love and joy this new year!
p.s. its been an hour with crying off and on…xander is now asleep {pat on the back!}
Tags: first christmas, holidays in florida, Xander
